Guidance
The process of establishing and maintaining responsible,
productive and cooperative behaviors in children takes a
great deal of time, effort, and persistence over many
years. Children's relationships with adults are much more
important in the building of self-control (internal) than
are rewards or punishment (external).
Since behavior is learned, it can also be
changed...guidance skills are essential for the dedicated
adults who care for young children. However, issues of
guidance and discipline are an aspect of caring for
children about which adults have strong and conflicting
views. There are differences based on cultural preferences,
economic background, individual beliefs and gender roles.
Despite this, it is widely recognized that too much
emphasis on adult control and too many restrictions tends
to discourage children from their exploration and
determination at understanding the world.
Children should be helped to learn self-control and how the
world works in a relaxed, positive, and cooperative (not
competitive) atmosphere of support and understanding that
recognizes the child's struggle. And, this struggle to
understand the mysterious world is tremendous for young
children. For infants, the long path to self-control begins
with feeling secure that one's own needs will be met.
Issues of guidance for toddler aged children are mostly
related to testing the trust relationships in their
ferocious drive for autonomy and independence.
Most of the guidance concerns we see in toddler behavior
are characteristic of the developmental period:
egocentrism; lack of understanding; good intention/bad
implementation; and lack of self-control. Effective
guidance is based on an ideology that regards discipline as
a matter of planning, setting clear limits and
expectations, redirection and logical consequences, not
punishment. Positive guidance is a matter of prevention and
encouragement.
It is important to recognize the effects of individual
temperaments in planning and practicing guidance skills.
Take into account the temperaments of your child, yourself,
your parenting partner, and your childcare provider.
Temperament is neither good nor bad -- it is a set of
inborn traits. Although we can alter our traits as we age,
our basic temperaments remain the same throughout our
lives. By acknowledging the characteristics of individual
children, we can best determine the kinds of guidance and
support they will need to grow and develop an authentic
sense of themselves.
Consistency is critical to overall guidance techniques.
Children need to know what is expected of them. Consistency
between what is done at home and in the child care setting
is also desirable because it simplifies the child's task of
learning what is acceptable or appropriate behavior. While
achieving this type of symmetry can be difficult it should
be at least discussed and strove for, while acknowledging
differences.