TODDLERS
Neither infants nor preschoolers...a class of their own
It is a constant goal of mine
that together, with families, my program provides:
An environment which fosters curiosity, excitement,
imagination, a sense
of wonder and a love of learning in our children;
An environment which
promotes in our children a sense of self as lovable,
loving and empathetic people and empowers them to be
connected, capable
and independent within the context of their family and
community.
When the children bloom into "toddlerhood" I began to
evaluate the environment, our routines and rituals and and
how their needs and interests will change.
I believe I support them best by realizing that they are,
in fact, neither infants nor preschoolers. As you have
noticed, toddlers are increasingly physically competent, on
their way to becoming emotionally and socially autonomous,
verbal, and thoughtful. They are becoming concerned about
identity to the extent of understanding who they are and
who is "in charge." Their primary motivation comes from the
unceasing urge to test and experiment. However, toddlers
are also "living contradictions." In the one moment their
need is to "do it myself" and in the next they are passive
and completely dependent and want nothing but Mom or Dad or
caregiver to "do it." They change their minds about what
they want several times...they are unsettled! Jim Greenman
writes about toddlers:
"These restless, mobile characters have a drive to take
apart their existing order and to rearrange it, by force if
necessary, to suit their own whimsically logical view of
the universe. They are often charming and engaging but at
times determinedly defiant or out of control with
frustration or anger."
And, yet, toddlers are eager and competent learners
especially when they are allowed to explore the world at
their own pace with few distractions and only optimal
amounts of stimulation from adults and the rest of the
world. They continue to learn with their whole bodies, but
with more intent...more purpose. We must not only
appreciate them as they "bloom" from their tiny babyhood
buds but also expect them to "burst" in a brilliance of
colorful emotions and energy! They will be:
...exuberant! Bursting with energy and exploding from
frustration
as well as being quiet and, at times, painfully slow
dawdlers.
...capable & loving! Concerned, helpful, as well as in
need of desperate
reassurance as they lose control of themselves in tantrums
of rage or despair.
...contrary! "No" they will say to our efforts to guide
them no
matter how gentle or persuasive. They will be independent
and
assertive as well as passive and helpless!
...moody! So much change is happening to and for
them...inside and out!
...fearless and fearful! As their world opens up to them,
their developing
cognitive abilities will discover and respond to the
challenging and "scary" elements.
...powerful! While they discover they can cause things to
happen
or not...learning to use their power in socially
appropriate ways takes time,
patience, and loving but sometimes firm guidance.
Toddlers (18-36 months) are the child care aged equivalent
of young adolescents. Their behavior is "uneven" in that
they often give the appearance of more maturity than they
actually posses. Adults must be aware of this and be
careful then not to expect them to act maturely all the
time. Many toddler programs, unfortunately, treat toddlers
as if they were preschoolers (3-5 year olds), only smaller
and less competent.
From my own observations, I've seen this often result in 2
1/2 to 3 year olds in groups where they often feel
unsuccessful, "less than" and frustrated. They are
sometimes referred to by their 4 and 5 year old peers as
"babies" who can't talk, can't use scissors, can't build
something without it falling over, can't sit in circle time
quietly, etc. To some extent those descriptions are
accurate, because that's not who most toddlers are yet.
While adults want to support their development as they
"become" competent in those areas, we also want to, more
importantly, accept and validate who they "are." You can
see how this certainly relates to the early development of
a positive sense of self.
(continued in "Toddler II" located in Thoughts on this
site)